Malditang Librarian

September 2016 exam results were out yesterday night! Even me, who has taken the exam and passed last year... waiting for the results is nerve-wracking. This year's passing rate (65%, 738 out of 1,140) was better than last year when I took the board which was only 47%. My classmates who took this second time had said that it was easier than last year's.  Central Philippine University (my school) had 13 test-takers, 3 had taken the second time and 2 passed. Out of all the first-timers, all passed except for one. Overall, 11 out of 13 passed which makes a decent passing rate of 84% for our school. Even if we didn't have a top 10 this year, that rate is better than last year. Congratulations to my schoolmates! For those who didn't pass, there's still a next time. Test takers with out ever-supportive teacher, Mr. Daryl Superio. Congrats guys! So proud! The top 10 this year is interesting, with a diverse list of passers from different provinces. Unlike previo...

We all create stories to protect ourselves. If there's a book that had influenced how I view stories and literature, House of Leaves would be it. How would I begin to explain it? It is a book about a fictional paper about a fictional documentary called The Navidson Record . It's a story within stories, with many narrators and layers. A family of a famous photographer buys a new home, and they discover a mysterious hallway. An impossible hallway somehow appears on the wall (but when you look on the outside, there is no other space, the hallway leads to this impossible space).  At first, it is just a hallway.  I will never forget the moment and the shivers in my spine the scene where Navidson walks through it and sees another hallway to the right. Then, upon further discovery, that inside is an immense, shifting, dark labyrinth whose mystery they will try to uncover.  I can't summarize and describe this book so simply because its difficult... here be winding pass...

Something I wrote last November 2013 : "I think of my sanity as a fragile aluminum cover over a turmoil of boiling, foaming water in a pot. I can’t keep it down. Its a makeshift sanity, but I don’t have anything other than it. The skin of my hands is scalding off, and foil can only hold so much. The rules are: the fire will not stop and you can’t take the pot. Its not that easy. They are in an inseparable symbiosis. The foam will soon change back into me. I left my old skin inside for a fake one (that looks more fashionable and normal), and I already knew it would never work. Yet I still hope it won’t spill over. If it gets out of the pot, this body will be re-absorbed into it. I will forget reason. I don’t want to forget what I am until now. I kind of like what I am until now. The thing inside is hideous."

Central Philippine University, MLIS Batch 2016! First picture together. Two years after graduating, a lot of things has happened and life changes. I had worked, and working for a living to support yourself gives you a new perspective on life. You learn that not everything you learned in school will be useful in real life or actual work. You learn that theory is different from application, and even if you know the work, doing it is different. I understood how it was to work with other people, and to do the best work you can. I worked in a Buddhist temple, and what a change from life at home! I learned a lot. I quit my job and decided to enrol in graduate school back in my hometown because I miss studying - unlike work where tasks and projects are ongoing and you can't see the end, there is some comfort actually in the definite projects and the grade to achieve. That, and for career development. At work I was doubting everything I was doing, and its good to be near my teachers ...

It's a month before the board exam for librarians. This can be the most stressful time of your life. Rereading old journals of the whole year I reviewed, you wouldn't think I would top the board. Wouldn't you believe it, that due to stress I didn't even talk to my sister and father due to petty reasons! I struggled daily, with trying to discipline myself, with dealing with pressures from family, friends, and teachers. I admit that I even dealt  with (ever-present) depression, self-doubt, and loads of negative emotions. I had a petty cold war with my sister during my review. And we only spoke and forgave each other on the day of the results! I only learned later that there was a problem with the results release, like God was waiting for me to forgive my sister first before the results. I'm not sure if these events had a connection, but it felt like that. The pressure is only natural. You carry the name of your school, and your professional future relies on th...

The first time I encountered the advertising mascot Emily the Strange, it was in a red shirt I bought in an ukay-ukay . I loved her aesthetic, some pale girl with straight, jet-black hair looking bored, with the logo 'Misery loves Company', and skull cherubims with fake plastic diamonds for eyes on the border. Emily was just a cartoon before she was a character in a book, and the book is was good! Its a short, enjoyable read. The book begins with Emily waking up in a town called Blackrock, with all her memories gone, even her name - only her clothes, a notebook, a pencil, and a slingshot. Most people would freak out, but even in this situation Emily just rides it out and calls herself... Earwig! She stumbles in a cafe, El Dungeon, helps out the barista Raven, while finding clues on her real identity. The novel is written in the form of Emily's diary entries, most of which take the form of 13-item lists. Here we see her with the odd characters in the small, ashen town ...

I was bored one weekend so I asked my friends for topics to write about. Just to see if I can. I've been doing too much writing for years anyway, and I trust my own brain when it comes to writing now. I feel like some sort of magician who created a magic gem out of thin air. Topic? Here, a poem. Anyway the challenge is still open to whoever wants me to write a poem for any topic: Someone typed ' Doraemon' , probably as a joke: A little blue alien monster has a lot of hidden treasures in his magic pocket That will promise to solve all your problems but he is just a cartoon in a children's story and we all grew up to only realize... that things don't come that easy ...and we all have to help ourselves Depression Days and days pass with me replaying the same old things lying down in bed, the pillow wet with inexplicable tears an unseen weight heavy on my body, and thoughts louder than anything the sun passes through my window and I spend the night...